用英文傳達資訊已經不太容易
如果要你用英文表達真摯關心、讓對方好過一點
心中有千言萬語，但會的只有 cheer up＋拍拍？
看完這一篇，讓你學會安慰到人心坎裡
看到朋友愁眉苦臉，第一個反應一定是擔心與關心。當不好的消息 (bad news) 已經發生了，接下來也只有講講話，儘量的讓對方高興一點。其實人生不順利時，大多數的煩惱都與感情、金錢、健康、事業、與夢想有關 (love, money, health, success, and dreams) ，每個人都有經驗，沒有人有免疫的能力。
當對方正在經歷不如意的事，做朋友的最好以客觀 (objective) 的態度來看對方的問題，而不是先入為主、用主觀 (subjective) 的立場評論自己的好朋友或者任何人。參考一下與工作、健康、感情、還有事業有關的對話。想像如果自己在有困難的時候，聽到不同的講法會有什麼感覺，也許下一次看到好朋友沮喪的樣子，你就知道該說什麼了。
先來看看 Jade 老師提供了哪些好用句子：
【英語技巧】如何好好安慰朋友 (How to make someone feel better)
是不是很好用呢？另外，我們再整理5句萬用句型，讓你套用在下列的情境試試看：
Table of Contents
1. 安慰工作不順的人
如果聽到朋友被解雇了，每個人都會先擔心對方，不過如果不小心說話，可能就變成在放馬後炮。
好用句1：we will figure out what we could do
好用句2：anything to turn that frown upside down
A: How’s it going? Why the long face?
A: 怎麼回事？ 為什麼一臉不開心？B: I got laid off yesterday, and I am going to run out of money in a few months.
B: 昨天我被解雇了，還有幾個月錢就要用完了。A: Oh no!
A: 哎呀！B: I don’t know what to do…
B: 我不知道該怎麼辦…A: I don’t know what to tell you either. We will figure out what we can do. Let’s go get something to eat, then take a walk. And when you feel better, let’s work on your resume.
A: 我不知道該跟你講什麼但我們會想出來我們可以做什麼。我們去吃點東西，然後散步。當你感覺好一點了，再來寫你的履歷。B: Not a bad idea. Thanks! Really appreciated it.
B: 不是一個壞主意。 謝謝！真的很感激。A: Anything to turn that frown upside down. Now come on, I am hungry already!
A: 只要你笑一下什麼都好。我餓了，我們走吧！
下面這兩種方式，就是應該要避免的馬後炮型用句：
你應該怎麼樣：You should…
提出已無法改變事實的意見：If you… you might still have a job.
A: What’s going on? Why do you look so stressed?
A: 怎麼回事？為什麼你看起來壓力超大的？B: My company laid off one hundred people this week. I was one of the fortunate ones who got the walking papers.
B: 這個星期我的公司裁員一百人，我是得到解僱通知的幸運者之一。A: Oh, I am sorry.
A: 喔，我很抱歉。B: Don’t be… there’s nothing I can do now. I want to get some rest, paint my house, and catch up with some friend.
B: 沒有關係。現在做什麼都於事無補。我想休息一下、粉刷房子、跟朋友聚聚。A: You should totally go take some classes, or at least work on your language skills. If your English or Japanese were fluent, you might still have a job.
A: 你真的應該去上課，或者至少加強你的言語能力。如果你的英語或日語流利的話，你可能不會失業。B: …
2. 安慰生病的人
每個人都會生病。當朋友有健康狀況時，他最需要的是有人可以體諒他的感覺與煩惱，而不是把自己的經驗先搬出來，高高在上的表示生病是小事，害怕與擔心只是不必要的擔憂。
好用句3：You holding up okay?
好用句4：I can’t imagine how you feel. If there is anything that I can do, just let me know!
A: What’s going on? You don’t look very happy…
A: 怎麼回事？你看起來很不開心。B: Bad news. I went in the hospital for some checkups, and they want to see me again… like first thing tomorrow.
B: 壞消息。我在醫院做檢查，又被叫回去做複檢，這是我明天要做的第一件事。A: Guess it’s not because they like your handsome face so much.
A: 我猜不是因為他們喜歡你英俊的臉。B: I know, too bad, the doctor is gorgeous.
B: 是啊，可惜，醫生超正的。A: Okay, no fooling around. You holding up okay?
A: 不鬧了，你還好嗎？B: No really. Work has been really stressful too. Oh, please don’t tell my mom and dad if you talk to them. They don’t know anything yet.
B: 不好。工作也很緊張。如果看到我爸媽請不要講什麼，他們不知道。A: Of course. They are so adorable,you wouldn’t want them to worry. I can’t imagine how you feel. If there is anything that I can do, just let me know!
A: 當然。他們太可愛了，不要讓他們擔心。我無法想像你的感覺。如果有什麼我能做的要講！B: Thanks! Just stay here and talk for a while. That will keep my mind off the worst scenarios.
B: 謝謝！你只要留在這兒，陪我講講話，讓我不要想最糟糕的狀況。A: Okay! We can stay up all night and talk if you want, but you might want to save some energy to see the beautiful doctor tomorrow.
A: 好吧！你高興的話我們可以聊一整個晚上。可是你可能留點精力明天給美麗的醫生看。
避免使用的句型：
先入為主，開始講自己的故事：I used to be like you…
一味逼人保持樂觀：Just think happy thoughts..
A: What’s going on? Why the long face?
A: 怎麼回事？ 為什麼一臉不開心？B: I need to go back to the hospital for more checkups this week. It’s really stressful. I hate hospitals.
B: 這星期我要回醫院做檢查。很緊張，我討厭醫院。A: Don’t be, everything will be okay.
A: 不要啦，不會有事的。B: I hope so…
B: 我希望。A: I used to be like you, worrying about everything all the time. Look at me. I had an operation a few years ago, and now I am doing better than ever. Just think happy thoughts, like the proverb goes, it could be a blessing is disguise.
A: 我以前跟你一樣。你看我，幾年前動手術，現在比以往更好。往好的地方想，就像諺語說，塞翁失馬焉知非福啊。B: Okay… I wonder what’s the proverb for a friend who made me feel so much worse by a few simple sentences?
B: 啊。我不知道用幾句話就讓朋友超級難過的諺語是什麼？A: Oh… I don’t know…
A: 喔。我不知道。
3. 安慰感情遇到瓶頸的人
沒有人能完全了解別人的情感，如果朋友有感情上的困擾，最好讓他了解自己討人喜歡的地方，讓他知道他生命中的人都很珍惜他。
好用句3：I can’t imagine what you are going through.
好用句4：I am sure everything will work out for the best for everyone.
A: You are all alone tonight? Where is your wife?
A: 今晚你一個人？另一半在哪？B: She is taking some time off, visiting her family.
B: 她休息一陣子，拜訪她的家人。A: Everything okay?
A: 一切還好嗎？B: No… We are separating for a while. If we continue to live together, all the arguing will exhaust everyone.
B: 不好。我們分開一段時間。如果繼續生活在一起，吵架會把大家都累垮了。A: Oh no. I had no idea. You two always seemed so happy.
A: 喔，我都不知道。你們兩個總是看起來很開心。B: Guess we put up a good show…
B: 大概我們演得很好。A: Don’t say that. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I haven’t been in many relationships, but I know each person, and each relationship is different. Hey, buddy! You are a great guy, you know that, right? And your wife is a great lady! I am sure everything will work out for the best for everyone.
A: 不要這樣說。我無法想像你正在經歷的感覺。我沒有很多交往經驗，但我知道每個人、每個關係都是不同的。老兄，你是一個好人，你知道吧？你太太也是一個很好的女孩！我相信一切的發展都會對每個人最好。B: Thank you so much. I feel much better now.
B: 感謝你，我現在感覺好多了。A: That’s what friends do.
A: 不然要朋友幹嘛。
要避免的句型：
去講不能改變的事：I told you…
拿自己與朋友比較：If I were you…
A: Will you go shopping with me tomorrow?
A: 明天陪我去逛街？B: Okay. What do you need?
B: 好。你需要什麼？A: A new dress. My ex is getting married.
A: 新的洋裝。我的前男友要結婚了。B: Oh… Well, you guys just broke up a year ago.
B: 喔…..你們分手才是一年前的事耶。A: Don’t remind me.
A: 不要提醒我。B: Are you sure you want to go?
B: 你確定你要去？A: Not really, but all our friends will be there, and I’d like to go to see everyone.
A: 不是很想，但我們所有的朋友都會去，我想去看看大家。B: Okay.
B: 好喔！A: I wish I didn’t gain weight over the winter… None of my nice dresses fit. Sigh…
A: 真希望我沒有在冬天長胖了。我的漂亮的洋裝都不能穿。嘆…B: I told you to go easy on the pastries during the holidays. If I were you, I’d have worked out everyday after a breakup, so when he sees me again, his jaw would drop to the ground.
B: 我早就叫你放假不要吃那麼多的糕點。如果我是你，分手後一定每天健身，所以當他再次見到我時會跌破眼鏡。A: …
4. 安慰事業或夢想碰到障礙的人
好用句5：You are a great…
A: Sorry, I don’t want to go to the movies this weekend. I need to get some rest.
A: 很抱歉。週末我不想去看電影。我要多休息。B: Oh… everything okay? Are you feeling okay?
B: 喔。沒事吧？還好嗎？A: Yes. I am fine. My manuscript was rejected by two major publishers. I want to write a different story, and try again soon.
A: 很好。只是我的原稿被兩大出版商拒絕了。我想要寫一個不同的故事，然後再試試看。B: Of course. You are a great writer, everyone knows that. And there are so many publishers out there. You know how many famous writers and artists didn’t get recognized until they were older, but they always kept on working, and never gave up on creating something beautiful.
B: 當然。你是一個很好的作者，大家都知道。有許多著名的作家與藝術家到年紀大了才受到注意。但他們總是不停地工作，從不放棄創造美麗作品。A: Thanks, that means a lot to me.
A: 謝謝，這對意義重大。
小心避免：
搞不清楚狀況就評論：Maybe your…
高高在上、強調自己是對的：Like I always tell you…
A: Sorry, I don’t want to go out tonight. I want to go home, clean up, and watch a movie.
A: 很抱歉，我今晚不想出去。我想回家、打掃、看電影。B: Everything okay?
A: 還好嗎？A: Not really. I worked on a proposal for months, and it was ruthlessly rejected by my boss.
A: 不好。我好幾個月努力做的提案被老闆一口拒絕了。B: Sorry to hear that. Did he tell you why?
B: 很遺憾。他有沒有告訴你為什麼？A: Not really… Ah! I don’t want to talk about it. Want to go get a DVD with me?
A: 沒有。也不是。啊！我不想再提了。要不要跟我去租DVD？B: You know you have amazing ideas! Maybe your proposal was too complicated. Like I always tell you, don’t think too much.
B: 你有很好的想法！也許你的建議太複雜了。就像我總是告訴你，不要想太多。A: Jeez, thanks, I guess…
A: 哎。謝謝你吧。B: No problem! Let’s go get a movie?
A: 沒問題！我們去選電影？A: You know, I am really tired. I am just going to go home, and get some rest.
A: 我真的累了。我還是回家，早點休息了。B: Okay…
B: 好…..
另外，Rebecca 老師提供的這些句型也很能適用於各種需要鼓勵人的情境，以後就不會只能說一句 “Cheer up!” 就接不下去囉：
同事好憂鬱，如何鼓勵她 (Speaking English – 8 ways to be positive & encourage others)
學會安慰人之後，想要實際練練英文口說？
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文／王傳瑄
圖／Stuart Seeger, CC Licensed
作者簡介／VoiceTube看影片學英語
學英文不是艱難的任務，而是一種融入生活的自然態度。今天起，丟掉厚重的教科書，每日鎖定VoiceTube看影片學英語官方部落格，給自己一個流利『用』英語的機會！