身邊充斥著女性同胞,媽媽、姊姊、妹妹、女友、阿姨、阿嬤、阿婆、女同學、女同事的我們,絕對有必要來了解一下女性的-女子~月月~友。
今天請來了YouTube上超火紅、最激動又中肯的Superwoman來為各位解惑。
1. There is blood constantly pouring out of us for 5 effing days!
血他X的持續5天從我們身上傾瀉而出!
*effing=f-ing=(較為隱晦的)fucking
2. Do girls use bandages when on their period? WT, do you use Ziploc bags as condoms? Girls either use tampons or pads.
女生月經來時是用繃帶嗎? 搞什麼,你會拿夾鏈袋來當保險套嗎?女生會用衛生棉條或衛生棉。
*tampons=衛生棉條 *pads=sanitary pads=sanitary napkins=衛生棉 (好啦,相信這一點常識大家一定都知道,只是想分享一下Superwoman幽默生動的比喻)
3. This is no secret that when girls are on their period, they are emotional, roller coaster.
女生月經來時像雲霄飛車般的情緒化,這已不是秘密了。
4. Cramps, chest pain, back pain, bloating, nausea. It’s like a Pepto Bismol commercial from hell.
抽筋、胸痛、背痛、脹氣、嘔吐。 就好像是地獄版的Pepto Bismol(胃藥品牌)廣告。
這邊附上這支常被parody(滑稽仿效)美國暢銷粉紅色胃藥,Pepto Bismol的廣告:
5. And here’s a fun fact, girl’s period do not flow when they’re in water.
還有個有趣的事實-經血不會在水中流出來
然而,洗澡水一關,女生就得跟時間賽跑,趁經血還沒開始尼瓜拉大瀑布式地到處亂瀉(start Niagara Fall-ing everywhere)前,擦乾身體並墊上衛生用品。
6. It is extremely attractive for that guy to agree and buy her a little pads and tampons, because it shows that you care about feminine needs.
男生同意幫女生買些衛生棉與棉條是極度性感的一件事,因為這表示你關心女性的需求。
7. Yeah, we get crazy, we get delusional, and we are emotional roller coasters. Can’t you just accept it and move on?
沒錯,我們會瘋瘋的、會妄想,就像雲霄飛車般情緒化。 能不能就接受這件事並繼續過日子?
註: [0:48] But to be honest if you can’t handle a little McNasty, then take your Mickey D and close the box. 但說實話,你若連這一點小噁爛都招架不著,就拿著你的麥當勞餐離開吧。
這邊的McNasty及Mickey D其實都是McDonald’s的另一種說法,Superwoman用了nasty(a. 噁心的)來形容某些人對於月經的負面觀感,並稍稍玩了一下文字遊戲,a play on words on McDonald’s。
老話一句,多了解、多傾聽,多體諒囉!
Sources: Girls on Periods, PEPTO BISMOL “LINE UP”
Photo Sources: 1. rebloggy.com 2. Female YouTubers